Category: <span>Life</span>

Life advice for your 40s: how to rewrite your story

September 20, 2022September 21, 2022Talya Stone

Our 40s are a period of reflection. As we come up for air from the first half of our life, we then begin to wonder what we should do with our lives in the next half? There are lessons to be learned, changes to be made, and a whole bunch of potential awaits, for both late-bloomers and people who have been living it large already. So what’s the life advice for your 40s you need to know? We spoke to, Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, master storyteller, who has devoted her life to helping others rewrite their stories whose latest book Storytelling Legacy: Everyone Has Stories—What are Yours? to get her essential life advice for your 40s, as well as her perspective on what being a woman in her 40s in today’s world looks like with the benefits of hindsight.

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What are some things you would go back and tell your 40-something year own self?

At 40, be very good to yourself. Self-care (sleep, regular eating, lots of exercise and healthy connections) will determine how the rest of your life will go. 40’s and 50’s are “turning point” ages.

What are some of the biggest issues women in their 40s are facing today?

Overwhelm, not enough time, clock ticking in relationships, life is operating “at its peak”.

What can we do about them?

Remembering that overwhelm is simply a sign of “not” making enough choices, clutter is about “not making choices” and not enough hours in the days is about “not making enough choices”. Theme here, “go forward and choose along the way”. It means getting comfortable with “letting go “ of people, activities and things.

What are some life lessons you’d like to impart on women turning or progressing into their 40s?

Simplify. In order to find all the good things and the things that make you happy, your job is to “make room” by living more simply.

What is the best way to conquer your 40s?

Don’t see them as “something to conquer”. I see the forties as rich time to change direction and look forward to each decade as it comes along. Sometimes the best focus for the 40’s is to turn the sail of your private ship and decide which directions (s) you want to go.

What are some of the things we should do before turning 50?

The best tools are daily exercise goals, getting one’s body ready for the next few decades, let go of worn out relationships and make plans for the next chapter in life. The 40’s are the perfect evaluation, choices and directions you want for yourself as the ships starts sailing in a new direction.

What should we stop doing in our 40s?

Hanging on to old relationships from which one has grown, hanging on to lifestyles that aren’t preparing for a healthy future. Buying things that one will need to downsize from in the 40’s and 50’s. This is not a good time to accumulate. It is a time to evaluate.

Any advice for women wanting to totally rewrite their own story in their 40s?

I would suggest that the 40’s is a perfect time to rewrite one’s life. Take each of your past experiences. Choose to either celebrate it, document it (pictures, videos and stories) and hang on to them, and also know what, who and how to eliminate what you don’t want to repeat, take along or plan to enjoy. This is the evaluation decade.

Do you have any particular story you would like to share which you think would resonate with our readership?

My forties were the end and the beginning of many things. It was the end of accumulating things of no current value or sparks of joy. It is important to understand that I have kept many things and some are reaching vintage. However, I don’t keep anything that doesn’t invoke a “spark of joy”.

The forties were also the time that I cemented in my “need to exercise and move”. Whether I was in my neighborhood, along a country road, living in a city or sailing on a ship. walking each day became as regular as brushing my teeth. I still walk 2 miles a day and if all my miles were laid out in a row, maybe I’ve walked across the US. It is as familiar as breathing. It was the time that I decided to never work again. Mind you, there have been many 12 hour days of work, but I don’t consider it work IF I love what I am doing. That way my activities become my passion and I am very passionate about life.

One of my favourite stories is: Walking through an airport in Chicago, a little boy came running up to me and said, “you are the lady in the red dress”. I said “yes, I am”. At that time, I had made a movie and made a decision to always wear something bright and different in each major presentation I made publicly. I could repeat the outfits, but each was chosen for a reason. Never again, did I wear grey, brown or anything dull. Later in life, I kept the same plan for zoom calls, interviews, family movies etc. Women and children may not always hear or be interested in “what you said”, but they rarely forgot what you wore. I was also the lady with the striped green and white dress who wore glasses that also had green and white frames. The moral of this story is “stand out, own your space and enjoy it”. You matter!

Anything more life advice for your 40s to add?

Enjoy the 40’s and remember. “You are the captain of “your ship”. Sail away!

Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse has devoted her life to helping others rewrite their stories, and is a master storyteller. In her latest book, Storytelling Legacy: Everyone Has Stories—What are Yours?, Sharon finally shares her story, with tales of celebrity, culture, humor, spirituality, travels and much more. She is a nationally known consultant, family therapist and author of 23 books on everything from personal development to relationships to caregiving.

Five steps to find your voice in your 40’s

May 23, 2022June 16, 2022Talya Stone

Do you find you struggle to speak up and be heard? You try and speak only for someone to interrupt you and finish off your conversation. Do you feel like no one is listening? It feels like your opinions, ideas and thoughts are not important enough. When you feel like no-one is listening to you it can make us feel unvalued, unappreciated, and just damn right fed up. It can affect our self-esteem and our confidence. We scream inside our heads ‘why won’t you let me speak?’ We hear voices in our own head telling us not to bother; it’s not worth it as no-one listens anyway. But it doesn’t have to feel and be this way. All you have to do, is make a few changes and you’ll be amazed the difference that it will make.

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Step 1: Control your thoughts

Be in control of your thoughts; they can either help you or hindebr you. Your thoughts can either empower you or disempower you, encourage you or stop you. Your thoughts can change your life now and for the future. Choose them wisely. When negative thoughts pop in your head; challenge them. Are they true? Really true? Ask yourself is it true or are you just scared of the outcome? Do you fear failure is that why these negative thoughts appear? If so, challenge that thought. Turn each thought around, upside down and inside out until you feel it’s truth. Challenge your thoughts to get the lifestyle that you want.

Be brave, push yourself and the changes can really happen; it’s all in the power of your thoughts. For example, you’re heading to a meeting at work and you want to talk about an idea but your thoughts are; ‘no-one will listen to you’, ‘They will just interrupt me anyway’, ‘it probably won’t work’ and before you know it you decide to not even bother speaking up. What if you changed your thoughts to; ‘I’ll explain all the reasons why this is a good idea’, ‘if they interrupt me, I’ll ask them to let me finish’, ‘this idea is amazing and will make a real positive difference’, ‘go on girl, you can do this’. Can you see the difference on how you will feel when you turn those thoughts around?

Step 2: Be passionate, not emotional

Doesn’t it just make you crazy when someone says this to you ‘you’re being emotional’! Your feelings of frustration get higher and higher, and things just got a hell of lot worse. When this happens its crucial to flip back to Step 1. Control your thoughts. Most of the time we are being passionate about a certain subject only when we feel we are not being listened to does our passion turn to emotional, either upset, frustrations and anger. Let’s not forget that our hormones will certainly be raging at this point when our emotions kick in. When this occurs, tell yourself to stop. Stop speaking, inhale a deep breath of calm and exhale the stress. Reflect and remind yourself why this important and start again. Interrupt the emotion and get back the passion.

Step 3: Call it out

If someone interrupts you; talks over you, shuts you down, call it out. Ask them to kindly let you finish the conversation without being interrupted. Most of the time people don’t realise that they actually do it. If it’s during an argument I think we are all guilty of this from time to time, so just be aware that you don’t interrupt too. Let people speak and then you can challenge them to let you speak too.

Step 4: Listen to understand, don’t listen to respond

Sometimes we react and respond too quickly because we want to get our point across but when we do that our minds are not fully listening to what the other person has actually said. They may have a totally different perspective, but they may not be wrong, and you can respond too quickly before you fully understand the other persons reasoning. Think about the number 6 and 9. If one person is viewing it upside down you can see why they would be adamant that they are right when they believe it’s a number 6 versus the view the other persons sees which is a 9. Again, our changing hormones won’t help us as we can get easily fired up. When we sense this happening, this is when we must tell ourselves to stop. Take that breathe, check your and theirs perspective, and start again.

Step 5: Know that there is always a way

Decide and know what you want, challenge those beliefs that are getting in the way. Trust and believe that there is always a way because seek and you shall always find.

Sara Harling author of ‘Why Won’t You Let Me Speak?’ Available at Amazon, Waterstones and The Hive.

Photos by Polina Tankilevitch and Pexels

Being in your 40s! Women in their 40s tell it like it is loud and proud….

May 9, 2022May 23, 2022Talya Stone

Can you believe it folks!? 40 Now What is now ONE YEAR OLD! We are so thankful for everyone who has supported us by reading our articles about being in your 40s. And what better way to mark our 1st anniversary by having some of our favourite women share their wisdom about being in your 40s loud and proud! So without further ado, it’s time to hand over to the women helping us celebrate this exciting milestone with their honest and inspirational insights…

“If you’re true to yourself and your values then it’s possible to see a massive change in your life at this juncture. Reevaluating your values in your 40s is the ideal way to review what you want and start living your best life.” – Dr Mandeep Rai, author of The Sunday Times Business Bestseller The Values Compass

“As I reached my forties, life had taught me that when an opportunity presents itself, always explore and seize it with both hands. Don’t be afraid to have things go wrong. I don’t like the world failure – it’s just part of your journey and as long as you learn from the experience, then it’s an invaluable part of building your character and your business. Finally, always be flexible as having the ability to change will ensure growth.” – Nicole Sealey, Real Housewife of Cheshire and businessewoman

“You are never too old and it’s never too late to live a life you love! I was bankrupt at 38 at 50 a multi award winning entrepreneur. You CAN!” – Sarah Pittendrigh, Motivational Mentor, Multiple Founder and Multi Award Winning Entrepreneur

being in your 40s — *Left to right: Dr Mandeep Rai, Nicole Sealey, Sarah Pittendrigh*

“40 is when it all really started to change for me – it was when I had the courage to get not only my first tattoo but the other 6 I had done in quick succession. It was also the year I changed my business stars, I left my well paid corporate job; and decided to set up my own PR business working with wellbeing and spiritual clients. This meant I could be there for the school run, work the hours I wanted and also enabled me to navigate through the hell of home schooling. I also cleaned up my act a little, I minimised my drinking habits, I practiced meditation, yoga, and started growing fruit and veg in the green house. It is in my 40’s I have truly felt comfortable in my own skin.” – Sarah Lloyd, Founder, IndigoSoulPR

“I have been loving being 40 so far. It feels like a really nice stage of life where my children (8 & 5) are a little older and need less from me. I am focusing on my business and my own health. I’ve started going to strength training once a week and have been really enjoying it. I’m loving building my business which includes a thriving practice as a clinical psychologist, an author and podcaster.” – Dr Marianne Trent, Clinical Psychologist at Good Thinking Psychology & Author

“Being single and childless in your 40s does not make you a failure, it makes you the envy of your friends. It allows you to focus on yourself and be spontaneous. Stop worrying what others think, the people who care matter and the people who matter care.” – Alix Johnson, Head of PR and Communications at National Museums Liverpool

*Left to right: Sarah Lloyd, Dr Marianne Trent, Alix Johnson*

“My 40’s have been my best decade. My world imploded, but I rebuilt it differently. I (re)discovered myself and redefined my legacy. I took control and stopped living by life’s ‘shoulds’ and ‘oughts’.” – Carolyn Hobdey, Author, Motivator and Educator

“One of the biggest things I have learned is that if you change the language in your head and it’ll change your life. I read a book called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and it literally did. I also created a series of positive supportive phrases that I still repeat to this day. Slowly but surely things started to change and here I am today, living my best life.” – Jo Pickard, award-winning voiceover artist and presenter

“My life changed soon after turning 40 – I met the love of my life and we started a business – Work Pirates, I got diagnosed with ADHD and now I’m writing a book – Good Girl Deprogramming. I finally realised that I didn’t have to do everything on my own, so I’ve asked for and received all the help I need to be a success.” – Michelle Minnikin, Entrepreneur and founder of Work Pirates

*Left to right: Carolyn Hobdey, Jo Pickard, Michelle Minnikin*

“By her forties a woman has crystallised her intelligence – rooted in life experience – making her fearless, determined and confident to take on the world and fight to make a difference. The best is always yet to come!” – Asma Iqbal, partner at Chadwick Lawrence Solicitors

“At the age of 42, I feel that I have learnt to acknowledge both my strengths and weaknesses and have realise both have helped me grow into the person that I am today. It is important to see challenges and obstacles as a time for learning. I believe you can achieve anything you want to in life, you just need to work hard, learn hard and of course play hard!” – Maria Afentakis, research scientists and author of The Spiritual Scientist

“I finally know who I am, and where I ‘m supposed to be. If you face your fears and just put one foot in front of the other, magical things happen.” – Rebecca Hartley, Director, Saving Grace Events and ambassador for the charity Prevent Breast Cancer

*Left to right: Asma Iqbal, Maria Afentakis, Rebecca Hartley*

“My 30s were heartbreaking after losing my husband at 34 so turning 40 was fine. I have a son and my clock wasn’t ticking, I just wanted my life to be happy and meaningful. Hitting 40 I knew I was too long in the tooth to have my ideas squashed, style questioned and commerciality quizzed and what I know in my head can’t be put on a spreadsheet, it’s called GUT and I have bags of it. ” – Katie Moore, celebrity stylist and founder of stylepath_ldn

“We are all capable of incredible things – especially in our 40s. No matter your age, background, or title. If you want to change something – you can do it. Know you can, and do it now.” – Philippa White, CEO and Founder of The International Exchange

“Firstly, to trust my own wisdom. To gather insights from others I admire have walked a path of self exploration, but to ultimately trust my own life, my experience, and learn from my own challenges, joy and being.” – Carmen Rendell, Founder of Soulhub wellbeing community

“I have two main feelings. One that is I finally feel like I can just be myself and live life on my terms. It feels like I’ve had enough lived experience to own my decisions which is very empowering. The other one is that I feel like with all that experience, I can make the next half of my life absolutely incredible by doing what makes me come alive, sharing my learnings with others and doing more of whatever makes me truly happy and fulfilled. It’s exciting.” – Puja McClymont, Life and Business Coach, retreat host and podcast host

*Left to right: Katie Moore, Carmen Rendell, Philippa White, Puja McClymont*

Can you relate to the above insights and experiences of being in your 40s? Why not add your experience of being your 40s in a comment below and join our Instagram community here where we will be keeping the conversation going.

Cover photo by Ｌａｒａ

How to feel sexy in your 40s – yes it’s possible!

May 3, 2022May 9, 2022Talya Stone

Are you wondering if is possible to feel sexy in your 40s?

As I journey more into my 40’s and look at was to feel good I have found that no matter what I try the common denominator is ME. It is up to me to feel good in myself, to feel comfortable in my own skin and to start feeling sexy again. No amount of reading self help books or courses are going to change how I feel unless I change the way I think about myself. As Mel Robbins say “No one is coming to save you, no one “so ultimately it is up to us to feel sexy again not any partner, husband, or wife it is up to us and us alone. Feeling sexy is far more than how we feel in the bedroom it’s about confidence in how we look and feel about ourselves. It is about knowing we are attractive, beautiful and capable through our own eyes; it is self-love at its best.

Accept, like, love are the steps I use when helping women to feel good about their body and start to see themselves as sexy. Acceptance can be the biggest barrier to self-love.

Accepting where you are now, longing for the body we had in our 20’s is pointless as it will never be that way again. Looking to the past will never helps us feel good in the present moment so embrace the body you have now. Accepting your body doesn’t mean giving up it is a starting point to where you want to go and how you want to feel.

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Sexy is a feeling

The sexy feeling you once had is pivotal to getting your sexy back.

I want you to think back to a time when you felt absolutely super-hot sexy . Close your eyes and let the image come to the front of your mind. Then go through these questions

What are you wearing?
Where are you?
Who are you with?
What are the smells?
How does it feel in your body?

Now open your eyes and check in with yourself, how do you feel in this present moment, what’s happening in your body ? How do you feel? Has the feeling stayed in with you?

Our mind works in images and the image creates a feeling so when we recall the memory or image of when you felt sexy it is possible to get the same feeling back. This technique can be used when you want to feel good about yourself or want to get that sexy feeling back.

What you can do to feel sexy in your 40s

To help you start on your sexy back journey here are some scientifically and not so scientific methods that can help you.

Get fitted for a new bra

Having your breasts all nicely supported helps you stand taller, and your clothes sit better. Buy bras in lace and cool different colours to help with the sexiness factor.

Exercise

To realease the endorphins and to remind you how amazing your body is .

Give someone a complement

What you give out you will receive back doubled. Making others feel good helps you feel good. Also practice receiving a complement don’t brush it of, just say THANK YOU !

Smile

When you smile it is impossible not to feel good – try it. Try smiling at yourself in the mirror for the ultimate feel-good factor.

Stop the self-sabotage

Remember you have the power to change your thoughts so when those negative self-sabotaging thoughts or patterns creep in, catch them and change the thought.

Bring back the fun

Try to bring in some laughter and fun into your life, we can sometimes forget that we need fun in our life and take everything so seriously. This can work well if you feel self-conscious around your partner, break the ice with a joke, laughter can help you both relax.

Visualization

As I said thinking back to a time when you felt sexy or creating an image of being sexy and attractive can really help bring about those feelings. Bring in all your senses to create the image in your sun-conscious mind.

Create you own sexy affirmations

I am a big believer in affirmations but sometimes we can think in negative affirmations such as “I am not attractive, no one loves me. Saying this will never get us anywhere so you need to change it to something positive and in the present tense approve of myself I am willing to accept love I deserve love”

Masturbate

Looking to yourself for pleasure is the ultimate form of self-love and can boost your self-esteem. So, get to it embrace your own body for those sexy feelings of pleasure. If it been a while or you are new to pleasing yourself reading erotic novels and taking a visit to Ann Summers is certainly a way to start.

Not everyone feels sexy all the time, life and being a woman in your 40s in general can see to that but remember you are not on your own. If you are trying to get your sexy back and feel sexy in your 40s believe me there are many other women trying to do the same so go easy on yourself, Don’t forget to let the fun into your life and remember thoughts are just thoughts and a thought can be changed.

Sarah Lyons is an image consultant, body confidence and wellbeing coach for women, she helps women all over the country look and feel-good inside and out. Find out more at www.sarahlyonscoaching.com and follow her on Instagram @sarahlyonscoaching & @wellstyled_by_sarah.

Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi and Matthias Cooper via Pexels

Happiness in your 40s: 4 ways to view happiness differently

April 27, 2022June 16, 2022Talya Stone

Does happiness feel elusive? Is happiness in your 40s possible? The answer for almost all of us is yes – at least sometimes, maybe often. You might feel like you’ve checked all the boxes but aren’t as happy as you’d hoped, you might wonder how anyone can be happy in the face of difficulty or you might feel like happiness is complicated. You might even wonder whether being happy is really all that important.

Here are four ways from lawyer turned Happiness Coach, Becky Morrison you can look at happiness in your 40s that might be a little bit different than what you were taught.

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Happiness in your 40s is a high value investment

To many people happiness sounds fluffy. Sure they’d like to be happier but they aren’t sure that happiness is – on it’s own – a valuable commodity. What they are missing is that happiness is a cause of success, not a result. There is a significant body of research that supports the notion that experiencing positive emotions – both the momentary experience of happiness and living happy (having on balance more positive emotional experiences than negative ones) – has significant positive impacts on your physical health, your performance and your resilience.

Happier people live longer, have stronger immune systems, are better able to manage pain and generally experience fewer adverse health conditions. In addition, the experience of positive emotions – like happiness – broadens our approach to the world allowing us to think more expansively, solve problems more creatively and build relationships more easily and effectively. It’s not surprising then that the research suggests that happy people earn more, sell more and are more productive. Finally, happiness builds our resilience so that when the tough times comes, we are better able to weather the storm. In short, investing in living happy is one of the highest value investments you can make.

Happiness is not a destination, it’s an action

People often fall into the trap of believing that happiness will arrive as they meet their goals and continue to achieve. But the problem is that an unhappy journey rarely, if ever, results in a happy ending. The key to a happier life is finding happiness in the process. That means looking for – or intentionally incorporating – happiness (and other positive emotions) into your daily life.

To do this, however, you need to know where your happiness comes from – because it’s different for everyone. You can start by making a list of things that bring you positive emotions (like happiness, contentment, gratitude or even engagement). These can be big, small or anything in between. Once you’ve got a list, take one or two of your favorite items and ask yourself: what about this thing makes me happy? Keep asking that question until you’ve distilled it down into that is quick and accessible to you. For example, one of the things that makes me happiest is our annual beach vacations. I can’t escape to the beach from my land-locked home any time I want. But one of the things that enjoy most about the beach is the feel of the sun on my face. That is something that I can seek out any time the sun is shining. Having a list of the most basic sources of positive emotions is a powerful tool because you can deploy them – with intention – anytime you need a reset or an injection of positivity.

Happiness coexists

By any measure it’s been a challenging two years – global pandemic, war, social justice, changing job and home demands that came with working from home, and more. You might be wondering how can we even talk about happiness at times like these? The answer is pretty simple – happiness (and other positive emotions) can coexist with the tough stuff. You can experience happiness even during struggle. And you don’t need to bypass the tough stuff and experience only happiness.

The goal with living happier – and reaping it’s benefits – is to intentionally and authentically experience positive emotion whenever you can NOT to ignore the tough emotions that are a natural part of the human condition.

The next time you’re facing a difficult situation or a tough emotion, don’t fight it. You don’t need to force yourself out of it or through it. And while you are in it you can keep an eye out for the little kernels of positive emotion that might coexist with it – the friendly face, the helping hand, even the sunlight. Those positive kernels don’t need to outweigh or overcome the challenges, they just need to be included in the conversation. The key is to notice it all and savor the good where you can find it, even nestled in with the challenges.

Happiness in your 40s can be simple

Happiness doesn’t require radically changing your circumstances. In fact, the research suggests that more than anything your happiness is dependent on your thoughts and actions – something over which you can exercise at least a modicum of control. While you can take steps to make big changes in your life to yield a greater level of happiness those big steps are best made from a happier place so that you are architecting your happiness, rather than simply trying to escape your unhappiness. That happier place is built through your daily behaviors.

If you want to be happier starting today try this simple exercise: each day, record what made you smile. How you record this information isn’t particularly important, what made you smile doesn’t matter. What matters is that you had a positive emotional experience AND you noticed it. Because remember just the experience of a positive emotion broadens your perspective and builds your resilience. This is just one example of how simple it can really be to inject more happiness into your daily life.

Bottom line: Making a high value investment in your happiness can meaningfully benefit your health, success, and resilience. It simply requires intentional action (not radical transformation) which can happen even during challenging times and doesn’t need to be complicated.

Rebecca Morrison is a lawyer turned Happiness Coach and author of the best-selling book The Happiness Recipe: a Powerful Guide to Living What Matters. Becky works with successful but unsatisfied high-achievers to help them find their unique happiness recipe so they can live happier, lead happier and build happy businesses.

Images by rawpixel.com

Ways to keep investing in yourself in your 40s

April 21, 2022June 29, 2022Talya Stone

They say life begins at 40 and that the last 39 years have just been a practice, which means that no it’s not too late to start – or keep – investing in yourself or thinking about fulfilling your ambitions. In fact, your 40s are the perfect time to start or keep investing in yourself as you lay the path for a second half of your life which is rich, varied and full of the good stuff.

But what are some ways you can start of keep investing in yourself in your 40s?

We recently heard about emberly, a new online platform which helps people to develop professionally, personally and socially. The site has been designed to help people ignite their inner spark, find their passion in life and to try things they’ve never tried before, including the weird and the wonderful. When we heard about it, we thought it was perfect for our 40 Now What readers and we wanted to know more…

All the courses are split into four categories ‘Energise’, ‘Create’, ‘Grow’ and ‘Relax’ and include everything from ballet and hip-hop dance classes to wild art journaling, yoga and even pasta and focaccia making! It’s all online, so it’s flexible and you can do the courses solo, or, if you want to create some special (or perhaps hilarious) memories, grab a loved one, friend or family member.

emberly is aimed at anyone who wants to learn and grow so you may want to master the art of public speaking, gain a plethora of interesting topics to talk about at the next dinner party, wow friends with a new skill, or learn the best party trick in town, there is something for everyone.

To celebrate the launch of this incredible new platform, the site’s founder, Hiba Binz, has pulled together for us, her own top tips on how to keep investing in yourself in your 40s. So without further ado here are some ways to keep investing in yourself in your 40s:

40 ways to keep investing in yourself in your 40s

1. Spend time with friends and family – enjoy spending quality time with people you love and never underestimate the importance of that

2. Meet with people who inspire you – you never know where life can lead, if you are inspired, anything can happen

3. Learn more about a topic of interest– apply yourself to something that you enjoy but haven’t given much time to before

4. Learn more about a topic that’s of interest to someone else
– to be interesting you have to be interested and one of the best ways to invest in yourself is to never stop learning and growing

5. Try something you’ve never done before – try to avoid thinking ‘I can’t’ or ‘I don’t’, it can be easy to create your own boundaries as you get older but aim to see things with fresh eyes and a fresh approach

6. Try things that are out of your comfort zone – don’t set your own limitations, it’s like they say, “How do you know if you never try…”

7. Attend community events, talks or networking events – meet likeminded people, meet new people and enjoy a new experience

9. Take a course – there are so many different ways to learn nowadays so take a new course whether it’s to benefit you professionally, personally or socially – there will be a benefit!

10. Start a new hobby – children growing up go to all sorts of extra-curricular activities; ballet, music lessons, horse-riding, Brownies, why shouldn’t 40-year-olds?!

11. Spend time doing what you enjoy – it’s definitely easier said than done but see what you can streamline to gain a bit of time back – even 5 minutes saved here and there, can give you a 30 minute chunk of time to spend doing something you love

12. Set time aside for YOU every day/week/month – if you can’t make ‘you time’ every day, then aim for once a week, or even once a month and if you can make it part of your routine – even better

13. Listen to an inspiring podcast and discuss what you learned with someone else – teaching others helps to embed the information into our owns minds, so you’ll get extra benefits from telling a friend

14. Tackle nagging tasks – sometimes the time we spend thinking about these things is far greater than the time spent on the task itself, you’ll feel better once it’s done

15. Take time to recharge and relax – whether that’s 10 mins of meditation, a bath or a spa break, you choose. It could even be listening to your favourite song through your headphones

16. Create memorable moments with loved ones – put the phones and screens down and create moments you can share together, enjoying each other’s company

17. Create a ‘you’ fund setting aside money to spend purely on your growth
– we spend money every day on all sorts of things, but have you considered spending a certain amount on investing in yourself?

18. Find a growth buddy – it’s easier in pairs – you can hold each other accountable for your goals but even more importantly you can enjoy it and have fun together

19. Be open minded to new ideas and experiences – the only thing that’s constant is change so if you can be accepting of that, you’re already ahead of the game

20. Travel to new places even if it’s just a part of your city you’ve never seen before – you don’t have to go on a long-haul flight, you’ll be amazed at how many incredible things there are right on our doorstep

21. Do something you used to love doing as a child – is there a skill, a game or a hobby you used to love but have long forgotten about? Why not give it a try again just for fun? Skip down the road, read a children’s book, wear a sparkly necklace…

22. Meet with likeminded people to discuss a topic, perhaps a book club – it’s a fantastic opportunity to have a voice and an opinion and to express that with others. It’s a great way to build confidence especially if you’re not used to speaking in front of others

23. Express your creativity – even if you don’t think of yourself as ‘creative’. This can be anything from singing along to some of your favourite songs, dancing in your living room, writing in a journal or cooking something with extra flair

24. Do something to improve your professional skills – 40 is a great time to reflect on the skills you have, the skills you would like to have and the areas you could improve in

25. Save for the future – this is a practical tip, but it will also give you peace of mind, which is very beneficial for your mental health

26. Find a mentor or business coach – work with a professional when you can afford it. Warning: you may become incredibly motivated and productive…

27. Take care of your physical health – stay active. Integrate the things that don’t feel like an exercise to you: dance, hike etc. Prioritise mobility

28. Say no, decline when you need to – don’t feel the need to please everyone

29. Unsubscribe and declutter everything!- get rid of what you don’t need, keep only what you love or things that are useful

30. Take care of your emotional wellbeing – look after yourself like you would look after someone you love. If there is a negative voice in your head, ask yourself, ‘Would I say that to my best friend?’, if the answer is ‘No’, don’t say it to yourself

31. Spend time with people from different generations. It’s amazing what you can learn from them all. Ask questions, listen deeply

32. Prioritise your energy into the right places – to help you, you could list anything that brings negativity into your life and feelings of anger or guilt and then list things that bring you happiness. See what practical changes you can make to reduce your list of negativity

33. Spend time in nature – nature has lots to teach us and it’s definitely good for the soul

34. Set financial goals – save, spend wisely, invest – the best way to do this is to take control of your finances with a finance plan. Find out your disposable income by listing all your outgoings – bills and regular payments, take that from your incoming amount, then you can make a plan with the money you have at your disposal

35 Take on a big challenge- i.e., a run, a performance of some kind or the organisation of an event (even better if it’s for charity)

36. Learn something new – but focus on the journey and detach from the outcome

37. Pick up a mindfulness practice- choose something that works for you such as Qigong, yoga, tai chi, meditation

38. Harness the power of your voice- this could be through a voice coach or through vocal lessons or it could be speaking in public

39. Do the things that make you forget to scroll – keep a book or several handy and on the go

40. Prioritise sleep – the benefits of sleep are endless, and now is the time to reap them

If you give any of these tips for investing in yourself in your 40s or have some of your own wisdom to share do let us know in the comments below!

Explore your passions with emberly’s variety of inspiring online courses. Energise, create, grow and relax with a monthly membership and unlimited access, or purchase a single course on-demand and find what makes you glow. Visit emberly.co.uk and follow emberly on Instagram @emberlylearn, Twitter @emberlylearn and Facebook @emberlylearn.

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4 ways you can keep your aging parents safe

March 24, 2022April 19, 2022Katie Porter

While gals in their 40s are always looking for ways to be healthier and ensure they can still do everything they used to do in their 20s and 30s, their parents are another issue. The older you get, the older your parents will be, and this means they may require more care and support. And of course, you’re going to provide that care and support to say thanks for raising you and making sure their quality of life remains as good as possible. One of the best ways to do this is to keep them safe, but how?

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Move closer to them

Moving closer to your parents will make sure you can look after them in case anything happens. If they cannot move in with you due to any number of reasons, you can at least try to be as close as possible.

Being closer to them will allow you to respond immediately. You don’t want to be on the other side of the country if something happens, so being able to act quickly can put your mind – as well as theirs – at ease. While moving house is not always convenient, it’s something to consider as your parents get older.

Consider care options

If moving house isn’t on the cards right now, you can look at other options, especially if your parents have suffered an illness or a fall that has affected their mobility and overall health.

There are many care services to consider, such as care homes, while live-in care has become an increasingly popular option for elderly folks who do not want to move out of their house. With this, a professional carer will be on hand at all hours to provide support and company, which can make it easier for you if you do not have the time to drive back and forth due to other family or work commitments.

Check-In regularly

Sometimes, you don’t need to be right by your parents to keep them safe. It might be that they just want you to check in regularly so you can see how they are doing.

A phone call every night or every other night is often enough, especially if they live far away and you can’t nip over for a quick chat and a catch-up. You could also buy them a smartphone with messaging apps so you can get immediate responses.

Let them keep their independence

Your parents’ independence is crucial for their wellbeing, so allowing them to maintain this independence can be beneficial for keeping them safe.

While you might think that they cannot take care of themselves like they used to because of old age, there’s a chance they will surprise you. They don’t want people to coddle them but instead let them live their lives and feel they are in control, which will keep their mental capacity in excellent condition.

Taking care

While not all parents will require all-day care and support immediately, it is something that may happen to your mother or father (or both). If you know your options before something happens, such as an illness or a fall, you can make sure they can enjoy the rest of their life with independence and support.

Are you currently dealing with your aging parents? Let us know by commenting below or connect with us over on Instagram.

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How to cope with rising cost of living

March 24, 2022June 9, 2022Talya Stone

The first time I really felt the rising cost of living was back in January where we went out for Sunday roast and ended up paying £80 for four people! I kid you not. My face probably looked like a slapped arse, and I immediately vowed that I would begin a mini campaign to skip on eating out. Then there has been the price creep on the groceries every week. The last time I needed to just “pick up a few bits” from our local supermarket, I almost had a heart attack when I left with just a few items and £50 poorer. We luckily have an electric car, but I have in recent weeks become the central heating police (thank goodness for the warmer weather!), and have been going around lecturing people on leaving the lights on sounding very much like my own father.

I pretty much try to avoid leaving the house altogether these days as I know everytime I do my wallet will just get an almighty spanking. But of course, there are plenty of ways to feel the rising cost of living without even leaving the four walls of your home especially with rising energy prices and the necessary evil that has become online shopping.

This sentiment is no doubt being repeated in households up and down the land as we all start feeling the rising cost of living in pretty much everything we do. After all, inflation is surpassing 6% for the first time since 1992, and Rishi Sunak is facing pressure to respond to increasing levels of inflation in his Spring Statement.

So how do we cope with this new cause of concern layered upon those which we have already had to shoulder over the past two years? We spoke to some experts to get some tips on how to cope with the rising cost of living.

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Know your finances

If you don’t know where your money is coming and going, now is the time to get on top of it all. Melina Abbott, author of Sacred Selling and all round money ninja advises, “Create a cashflow forecast in something like Excel and each day keep track of all money coming in, and money going out plus the balance of your account. Do this at the end of each day for money you’ve received and money you’ve spent. On the same spreadsheet, track money due to come in and go out in the next 30 days. This gets you very present to money and what you focus on expands. It also shows you where any danger zones are – so you’ll know in advance if you’re going to struggle to pay a particular bill and you can therefore take action before it happens by cutting unnecessary expenses.

Get conscious of where your money is going and be very discerning where you choose to spend your money. Much of what we spend money on is a habit – we do it without thinking. For the next 3 months, for every transactions ask yourself “do I really need this? Could I leave buying it for another few weeks?” If the answers is yes, don’t buy it.

Look at your cash-flow forecast and if it looks like you’ll have some money left over before payday, put it in a savings account that’s not linked to your main current account. You want to have access to it, but not be able to see it each day. Put it aside as soon as you receive the income, not at the end of the month. If you try to do this there won’t be any left as our outgoings always expand to fit our income. By putting it aside first it protects our money from ourselves. Make a pact that you’ll only spend it in an emergency. Having savings to fall back on gives you peace of mind.”

If you find all this terribly boring, then fret not. Another great tip from Abbott is to treat saving money as a game. Yes really! But how? “Make it fun and get the whole family involved. Give it a name, for example Austerity Measures, Money Magic, Money Matters. Make it short-term – for example, the next 3 months. If we think we’re going to have to scrimp and save forever it can get very depressing. But looking at it over the short term, say 3 months – then it’s much easier to make changes. See it as an adventure rather than a hardship – you might not enjoy camping but it’s fun to experience once in your life.”

Know where to get help

Greg Wilson, founder of energy comparison website Quotezone.co.uk, advises that households should double check they’ve made use of all the help available such as:

Government schemes: research government schemes like the Winter Fuel Payment which provides £100 to £300 to help pay heating bills. Customers are eligible for the scheme if they were born on or before 26 September 1955.* Be aware that the government is also exploring options such as making payments to energy suppliers to soften the blow to consumers.
Switch providers: according to Ofgem, households can save around £360 every year. Switching provider doesn’t just help save money, it can also allow consumers to seek out more environmentally friendly suppliers and those with better customer service.
Tax relief: check out the tax relief option, which allows anyone working at home on a regular basis to claim relief on gas and electricity bills – as well as metered water and business phone calls. HMRC are offering relief worth £312 per year with no need to provide receipts or factor in any complicated calculations.
Discounts and efficiency checks: use energy efficient lightbulbs – a relatively inexpensive solution which helps to reduce costs over a long period of time. Also, look out for schemes such as the Warm Home Discount that provide a one off discount of £140 off the winter electricity bill between September and March.

He comments: “Given the upcoming rise in energy price caps in April, it’s important that people get on the front foot and look for ways to save.

If you’re eligible, making use of the government’s schemes to help with the cost of energy bills is a good start. There are many schemes out there, including the Warm Home Discount and Winter Fuel Payments scheme, that should make bills a little easier to pay. These schemes are targeted to both the elderly and those on a low-income, providing support to the most vulnerable demographics.

But there are also many other ways to tackle increasing energy cost – one of the most effective ways is to switch provider, a process which has never been easier. By choosing an Ofgem-accredited comparison site, consumers can get an understanding of what’s on offer across a range of energy suppliers – instantly providing an overview of more competitive prices.”

Be savvy and cut back on non-essentials

Rest Less Money Expert, Mel Wright, adds: “If you’re operating on a reduced income, your focus should be on covering essentials and you should think about cutting back on non-essential spending. Cutting out or down on subscriptions is a good place to start whether it’s magazines, gym or TV streaming. Check your bank statement for your spending over the past few months to remind yourself of your regular payments so you can review other spend you can cut back.

When food shopping, consider buying supermarket own brand items rather than sticking with well known brands. This can save you hundreds of pounds each year. Also shop in the evening so you can benefit from yellow sticker items – products that are close to their sell-by date. You can usually freeze what you aren’t going to use immediately.

Use tech to help you reduce your food waste and can help you find food at a reduced cost, sometimes even for free. Olio and Too Good to Go are two great options.

Energy bills are soaring but there are ways you can cut back: as well as replacing light bulbs with energy efficiently LEDs, draft proof windows and doors, block cracks in the floor and skirting boards – these are just some of the ways you can shave some money off your energy bills each month.”

Find ways to supplement your income

We’ve talked a lot about saving but what about the flip side – earning? Aside from landing a new job, making money outside of work is one of the best ways to supplement your income. Abbott suggests we think about ways we can supplement income aka get a side hustle, “Do you have a skillset that others would pay for? A spare room you can let out? Brainstorm all the ways you could generate income – some will be nonsense but there might just be a golden gem you can test out.”

Need some inspiration of side hustle ideas? Check out this extensive list of side hustle ideas for more inspiration.

Are you feeling the effect of the rising cost of living? How have you changed your attitude towards money recently to reflect the current economic situation? Let us know in a comment below or over on our Instagram community here. Keep up to date with all the latest articles by subscribing for FREE in the box below

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The best ways to stay well as you age

March 23, 2022July 7, 2022Katie Porter

Aging gracefully isn’t always the easiest thing to do but there are some tips and advice that can give you a better chance of doing so. You must remind yourself that you matter and that the better job you do at self-care the better you’re going to feel overall.

Below are some of the best ways to stay well as you age. Put these into practice and it won’t be long before you’re on your way to improved health and more happiness. Getting older can be hard on your mind and body but it can also be a beautiful and rewarding journey if you approach it in the right manner.

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Take care of your physical body

One of the best ways to stay well as you age is to take care of your physical body. There are many ways to do so such as getting enough sleep and exercise daily. Also, address aches, pains, and discomforts as soon as they occur instead of putting them off. Have a doctor you can visit as needed and keep the number of an emergency dentist handy. It may also help to do yoga or stretch often to remain loose and build more strength and stamina. Your new routine may also include strength training as well as other fun activities that get your heart rate up.

Lower stress

Stay well as you age by finding useful and productive ways to lower stress. Too much of it can be debilitating and cause you anxiety and anguish. It may be that you write in a journal, review your gratitude list, or head outside for a walk when you’re feeling overwhelmed. These are just some of the best ways to reduce stress and reset when you’re experiencing tension and uneasiness. Know what your triggers are and try to avoid them or at least prepare for them when you can. Acknowledge and notice your feelings and have healthy outlets for releasing any negative emotions you’re harboring.

Challenge your mind

Mental health matters and plays a significant role in how you feel overall and function. Improve and boost your mental health by staying challenged and engaged in life. Find a job and career that makes you think and problem-solve and do some crossword puzzles in your free time. Start a new hobby and socialize with others so you’re always taking in new thoughts and perspectives.

Cook healthy meals

A nutritious diet will also help you achieve better wellness and keep you on track to feeling great. Stay well as you age by cooking healthy meals for yourself and packing healthy snacks to bring with you on the go. Consume more fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins and try to cut back on the refined carbohydrates, saturated fats, and sugar. You’ll have more control over the ingredients and what you’re putting in your body when you grocery shop and cook at home. It’ll be easier to maintain a healthy weight and you’ll have more natural energy when you eat right. There are so many benefits that it’ll be worth your efforts to prepare meals yourself.

What do you do to stay well as you age? How are you preserving yourself? Let us know by commenting below or connect with us over on Instagram.

How to make money from home while you sleep!

March 23, 2022June 9, 2022Katie Porter

The last two years have been turbulent to say the least. So many careers have been affected by the pandemic. For some of us, jobs as we knew them have changed for the better and some for the worse. I , for one, know that having my husband have the flexibility to work from home has been hugely rewarding and has boosted our family. But for many, the changes have been hugely unsettling and life changing. Sometimes, in life, we need to make an adjustment and although it might seem and feel impossible, it could lead to something wonderful and bring us closer to financial freedom.

Lucy Griffiths was as a TV journalist for over 20 years, with an incredibly fascinating career working with some of the world’s biggest television stations as a TV reporter and producer, interviewing; Barack Obama, Tony Blair, Hillary Clinton, and celebrities like; Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman and Victoria Beckham. Lucy’s career took her from flying on Air Force One with the President of the United States to being in the middle of a refugee camp in a war zone.

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Seeking a new passion

When Lucy’s son was born in 2015, she experienced a traumatic birth, which left her suffering both anal and urinary incontinence and she knew her life wouldn’t be the same again… after much soul-searching, support and coaching, she set out to find a new passion and purpose for her life.

Lucy turned to the online space and created a course, which tapped into both her coaching expertise and her experience of being on camera, to help other women, particularly, to find their confidence to spread their message. She created a training course, but soon realised due to demand that she could turn it into a digital course and sell it on repeat (literally making money whilst she slept or spent quality time with her son – all through passive income). She has now sold this course 50,000 times over and has generated over 1million in revenue. This $19 course paid the family’s mortgage and bills throughout the pandemic where her other income streams dried up.

She’s helped coaches and consultants, pet-preneurs and horse whisperers, ballet instructors and beauty therapists, to turn their expertise into digital products that sell on repeat and she hopes with the book she can reach even more people. Here, she offers us her top five tips.

1. Brainstorm ideas

Allow yourself the space to brainstorm your ideas. Free flow and don’t restrict yourself or negate those little ideas that could become something truly remarkable. Give yourself the space with a big piece of paper and just start writing. Allow your creativity to unfurl and see what ideas come forward.

2. Talk to your audience and then niche down

Talk to your people and find out what they want to buy from you. Test and validate your idea to know that people really want and desire it. Are people being polite: “Oh, that sounds interesting”, or do they really want it: “OMG, where can I get it?”. If they are your target audience and they get excited by your idea, then you know you’re on to something.

3. Niche down

Be selective with who you are creating a course for. You’re not making a course for everyone; you’re making a course for a select slice of the online world that needs your knowledge and experience. They will identify with you because they are a reflection of you. There’s a saying in the online world, “there are niches in the riches.” It’s true.

4. Create your course

This is the big one! Use the audience research as the starting point for the course, and create what your people want and need from you. This will help you to structure and map out your course. Put your passion and soul into the course and share your experience with your audience. Done is better than perfect, so take action and avoid procrastination. There may be times you want to throw your laptop out of the window, but the promise of making money while you sleep will carry you through the challenging times.

5. Create a sales machine to sell it

When you’ve gone to the effort of creating a course, you want an audience to sell it to. And it’s no point selling it once; you want to sell it again and again. This means creating an online sales system to sell on automatic while you get on with the business of life. It means you can live more and work less because you have an automated process to make money while you sleep!

Lucy’s book, ‘Make Money Whilst You Sleep’, is her latest avenue through which to create more of a ripple effect empowering others to move away from the hustle mentality that can lead to burnout and mental health struggles, instead encouraging readers to reclaim living their lives the way they want to, using their expertise to bring passive income.

Have you every thought of a career change or have you been forced into a situation where you’ve had to dramatically change the way you work? Keep the conversation going by commenting below or follow us on Instagram.