Tag: <span>christmas stress</span>

Things we hate about Christmas part 1

December 2, 2021March 24, 2022Talya Stone

Let’s talk about the things we hate about Christmas. If you have a love-hate relationship with Christmas, then this post is for you. The thing is, as much as I absolutely love Christmas there are some things I really hate about Christmas too! For all it’s so-called merry making, let’s face it, Christmas can also be an utter ball ache. From having to deal with people or situations you want to avoid, the insanity of the outside world, money problems and more, it’s no wonder that Christmas is listed as one of the most stressful life events.

Here we take a look at some of the things we hate about Christmas, and offer up some solutions on how to deal with these common Christmas peeves.

The first 6 things we hate about Christmas and how to handle them

1. Having to spend time with people you don’t get along with

There’s nothing like a dysfunctional family trying to function for the holidays and goondness knows we’ve all been there. The family members that rub you up the wrong way, the spiteful comments, and resentful feelings from the past. So how can we keep our s*** together when your aunt insists on bringing up That Incident from 1996 yet again on Christmas Day this year? Niels Eék, psychologist and co-founder of mental wellbeing and self-development platform Remente offers up some advice:

– Think ahead: If possible, try and openly discuss any issues ahead of the holiday, to ensure that all grievances are left behind, before you are spending time with someone that you might have an issue with. If there is a topic that you’d rather not want discussed (like that incident from 1996), ask beforehand if it could be left out of this years’ repertoire of stories. But if it isn’t possible to resolve the issue, think about the ways in which you can avoid conflict and keep calm. Anticipating any situation will make you feel more prepared and in turn, significantly less stressed and worried.

– Let it go: When we are thrown together with various family members during the holidays, the case might be that you don’t get along with some of them, or that you have long-term, unresolved issue. The first thing to do in this situation is to try and let it go – even if forgiveness is impossible, take a deep breath and try to stay calm, after all, you’re unlikely to see them again for a long time and it might be worth it for the sake of everyone else to just put a smile on your face and get on with things.’

2. Being skint for the whole of December and January

Christmas truly is the most magical time of the year, because it makes all your money disappear! Jokes aside, not having enough money or being in debt at Christmas time is no laughing matter. So how can we address all these extra festive costs and pressures?

‘Having been in a large amount of debt myself in the past, I’ve learned the hard way that keeping up with the Jones’ is a recipe for financial disaster’, shares Tanya Ibberson, qualified accountant and financial wingwoman who helps female business owners with their finances. ‘Using money as a tool for financial freedom instead is a far better use of the resource. With a bit of planning, a smidge of control and a sprinkle of Christmas magic, you too can become more appreciative of the creative ways in which you can give to others in the festive season.

Here are some tips to manage expectations and avoid making December and January the financial nightmare that they will inevitably become through overspending:

– Suggest a Secret Santa pact with your nearest and dearest – you each get one gift and buy one gift for a set budget.

– Give the gift of time – when did you last spend quality time with friends or family? Create memories instead of debt. #presencenotpresents

– Spread the joy for longer – think about how you could give something that lasts beyond Christmas, so they enjoy more value, such as a membership or subscription.

– Most importantly, spend within your limits – make a realistic plan and stick to it!’

3. Feeling impatient and easily irritated about literally everything

When you’re in a massive grump and someone asks you where your Christmas spirit is, and you feel like pointing to the drinks cabinet, what’s really going on here? Moyra Mackie, Executive Coach and author of Journal Safari: Create your journal habit in 30 days says, ‘Our difficult feelings are there to tell us something, if only we’d listen to them’, says ‘ She advises that we ‘Get curious about what your feelings are trying to tell you. Did you know we can’t be curious and anxious at the same time? We can spend way too much energy pushing down or denying these feelings, when leaning into them with a bit of compassion can often release these feelings that are in some way trapped within you.

Generally, this build up of emotions is a sign we’re taking on too much and not allowing ourselves time to recharge our own energy. However, there are a couple of simple three-minute things you can do to recharge; breathing and journaling.Find somewhere by yourself. It can be indoors or outdoors and it doesn’t have to even be quiet. Sit down, close your eyes, put one hand on your heart and the other on your belly and just breathe. Focus on slowing and deepening your breath, feeling your belly expand on your in breath and contract on your out breath.This might be enough to “reset” but if your head still seems full, grab a notebook and pen, set your phone’s timer for three minutes and get those feelings out on paper. Lean in and let go!’

Sick of seeing everyone’s movie perfect, Hallmark-worthy Christmas snaps on Insta? Us too! We all know it’s a big load of fakery, but how do we stop ourselves from feeling down about our lacking? Holistic Life Coach Nichola Henderson has the answer.

‘We live in a world overloaded by social media. Unfortunately, with the benefits of this comes delusionary ideals and expectations. We know logically that the shiny images, perfect smiles and picture-perfect family posts are not always representative of real life, however it also can cause stress and anxiety if we fall short of the ‘Christmas dream’

The best way to deal with this is to stay focused on the present moment, do not allow yourself to let your thoughts run away with you by worrying about others may think of your Christmas experience, remember (with kindness) that other people’s families may be complex despite appearances!

Just focus on the here and now and try to stay in the moment, maybe reduce social media for the day, 1 hour in the morning, then another in the evening, really connecting to family and friends requires attention and presence. Remember that if other people are spending too much time on social media, then they are very likely not living in the moment, but in how the moment can be perceived, take pride in yourself knowing that really being present in the moment you are living the Christmas dream – the one that you’ll most likely remember for years to come.’

5. Your to do list being quadrupled due to all the extra work of decorating, cooking, entertaining, wrapping etc

Ever feel like you’d rather have eight days of Hannukah over six weeks of Christmas? If anyone doesn’t know what to get me for Christmas, the simple answer is: a PA to deal with all the extra stuff I have to do! The pressure of all the extra things piling up on our shoulders can be immense, so how do we cope? Emma Jeffreys aka Action Woman hear us, ‘The mental and physical overload of the Christmas to-do list can feel overwhelming to most of us,’ says ‘But it doesn’t have to be this way. Write out a list of all the things that are swimming round your head that need doing between now and Christmas. Now make a cuppa and take a deep breath as you review the list:

-Does everything on here HAVE to be done? Can you see any tasks where you are just creating more work for yourself or perhaps getting caught up in a story of an Insta-perfect Christmas? If so, ditch what you can and feel the weight lift.

– What can be delegated? Think about the tasks you can give to other family members (even the littler ones) or where you can shortcut to the results you want. There are no medals for doing it all yourself.

– Now group what’s left into weeks. What needs to happen now and what is a last-minute job? By doing one small thing a day you’ll feel a sense of progress without it feeling a struggle.

And remember, only give what you can. Time, money and energy are all resources that we can overspend at this time of the year. Be mindful how much you spend without topping up the account….’

6. Christmas brainwashing and being made to feel like you need to buy, buy, buy when people are homeless and starving

Can you hear that little voice in your head telling you you’ve already wasted enough money this Christmas? No, of course not because you can’t hear it over the sound of Michael Buble on loop drowning out every logical thought your brain can muster at this juncture!

It’s all too easy to get swept up in the crazy need to keep buying as the insatiable buying monster within gets unleashed around this time of year. More often than not, this is swiftly followed by a feeling of self loathing. So how do we side step this trap this year? Sarah Parkes, podcaster and author of the number two bestseller – Awakening Legacy – shares three tips to say no to the collective hold of the Christmas marketing machine:

‘This year we have the extra twist and emphasis on reduced availability, driving this unhelpful pressure… to fan the consumerism fire.

– Reduce your exposure to unhelpful messaging. I stopped watching the news a long time ago, with all the sensational stories to fuel fear. I am mindful about what I am mentally consuming. Where are you at with this?

– Get clear on how you want to feel, and what you want your family to experience. Is it love, is it connection, is it fun, is it rested? What is the experience you want to have, and how can you achieve that in the simplest way?

– Try out the 4 gift rule, where each person only gets four gifts for Christmas: Something you want, you need, to wear and to read. If you have a tendency to go a bit overboard, this is helpful for reigning it in. Let’s face it they’ll probably still get some things from grandparents. But more than that, it can become a tradition … one that reduces burden in so many ways, and has the potential to reconnect us with the spirit of Christmas.

One extra tip… don’t start something (a tradition) without thinking it through. Do you really need that Elf? Or the Christmas Eve box…?’

Although we do have a whole lot of love for Christmas, it’s ok to also have some things you hate about Christmas too right? Who knows, maybe it’s just because we are getting older and less tolerant! What do you find challenging about this time of year? Let us know in a comment below and follow us on Instagram where we’ll be keeping the conversation going. And don’t forget to check out part two of the things we hate about Christmas.

Woman photo created by cookie_studio, Christmas photo created by gpointstudio, Gift photo created by mdjaff – www.freepik.com

Things we hate about Christmas part 2

December 2, 2021March 24, 2022Talya Stone

Feeling like the Christmas crazy is getting to you? We hear you! In this, our part two of the things we hate about Christmas despite how enormously jolly we try to be about it all, we talk share brutal truths about the things we hate about Christmas that really leave us feeling less ho ho ho, and more help help help. Plus we join forces with experts on how to deal with classic Christmas pet peeves. Missed part one? Catch up here.

The next 6 things we hate about Christmas

The anxiety-inducing ridiculously long build up that Christmas has become

It all begins with a low level feeling of unease when Christmas in July emails start hitting my inbox. But I haven’t even had my summer yet! OK that is an extreme case for sure, but it does feel like the Christmas build up gets cunningly longer every year doesn’t it? I don’t know about you, but if there’s one thing I hate about Christmas it’s a friend telling my they have done all their Christmas shopping by Novembe, sending me instantly into low level panic. So how we can deal with being strung along like this?

Aaron Surtees, a hypnotherapist, psychologist, and founder of app subconsciously.com says, ‘Christmas is a time for celebrating but while many of us enjoy Christmas it is becoming more common place to dread the festivities and anxiety around this time of year is rising. There is huge pressure and expectation which can lead to stress. To overcome the problem, a switch in a person’s mindset is key. This can be achieved by hypnotherapy.

You can try this at home by using proven self-hypnosis techniques to re-write your subconscious mind. Self-hypnosis can simply be practiced once a day when you wake up in the morning by breathing slowly, softly and meditating on the edge of your bed for a few minutes up to 20 minutes every day. Make sure you breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth and concentrate on this alone. It is all about improving your state of mind by training your brain to relax which in turn alters your mindset and reduces your stress levels.

As you sit still breathing in and out slowly, imagine the feeling that is concerning you, as a cloud in your mind, with your breathing pull it down into your heart, into your chest and then into your stomach. Then focus on pushing it back around into your arms. Once in your arms use your breathing to pull the cloud down to your hands and then push the cloud out of your hands as though you are pushing the feelings away and letting go of your negative feelings.’

Having to pretend to love and be grateful for crappy gifts from loved ones

You know the drill, the one where you have to over compensate by about 2000% because the gift you have been given by said family member who should really know better know is just so tremendously crappy. You’d think that they would have learnt to see through those fake coos and smiles by now. But oh no, this year like all others, we have to suck up the crappiness yet again. Or do we?

Mairead Molloy, Global MD at Berkeley International, says that while unfortunately we do have to pretend to like a gift someone gave you, it’s important to understand why misguided gift giving can be so irksome, ‘Receiving an unfitting gift from a partner however can make you feel misunderstood. It seems like the giver thinks you’re a different person—a person with interests in maritime history, trojan horses and tea towels. That said, most gifts aren’t given with mean intentions. Poor gifts are usually just a result of laziness and ignorance. Try some of these tips for a better gift receiving experiencem:

– Give more direction next year: generate ideas and make lists. Be far more direct about what you want. Ladies – start sending him photos of things you like a month before the holidays, with the caption, Present idea – Men ask what they would like – ask for a list and take the time to be thoughtful.

– Make a joke of it – it helps. After you have been very grateful and acknowledged how thoughtful the hoover is, you can make a joke like, Hopefully we both get some use out of this. Ladies, take note that men have “fix-it” brains. They love finding solutions. Your partner has probably just heard you complain that your old hoover is rubbish and takes forever to clean the house. While it may seem like your partner is being pretty sexist and insinuating you must love cleaning because you’re a woman, he isn’t.

– Remember the effort. No matter what your partner gives you, remember that they put effort into this. They put time and thought into it. They thought about your life and thought, what would make your days so much better. They got it wrong, but they did put some thought into it – that’s a gift in itself.

– If you really don’t like the gift, don’t overdo the lie. Pretending you do like it – it will be noticed.

– If appropriate, ask where it was bought so you can take it back!

A few gift pointers:

– When buying a gift, ask the person what they would like rather than buying just anything – it’s good to get ideas and it shows you care.

– Buy something for them that you would like to receive (if you have things in common!

– If you do receive something and you really don’t like it, use the tips above. If they don’t work, take the gift to a charity shop – don’t keep it in the attic and take it out when they visit!’

Whiny little children who don’t appreciate the expensive gifts they’ve been given

Personally, there is nothing that makes my blood boil more outrageously year round than ungrateful children. Lord help the child that bemoans a Christmas gift to me this year then! Of course, when faced with this, we all then cite the poor starving children in African who have nothing. But my goodness isn’t it true? So when faced with ingratitude from our little humans this year, what to do?

Nora Szanto, psychologist and high-performance strategist reflects, ‘When my son was younger, he mostly received small and inexpensive presents”, said She continues, ‘Even for his 9th birthday, he wanted a Rubik’s cube worth around 15 dollars. Then, something has changed. First, he asked for a remote-controlled boat, which cost about 100 dollars. Then he begged for a 250-dollar freestyle scooter, which was soon followed by a PC with a monitor, costing in total over a thousand dollars. However, the other common pattern was that he started nagging us for something else the moment he got the presents. He became insatiable. When we said no, he got extremely frustrated. I used to be very disappointed by his reaction, but then figured out that we, the parents need to change things. Here are my tips for you if you are also facing similar behaviour by your child:

– Set a budget: Many children don’t understand the real value of money, especially if they see that all their friends have the latest gadgets, the trendiest shoes, etc. If they really want an expensive item, just tell them you have a certain budget, and if it is above the limit, they have to chip in. They will either realise that they don’t want the present after all, or they will actually work for it, which will make them appreciate it so much more.

– Try to avoid instant gratification: Instead of buying the kids immediately everything they want, focus on special occasions such as birthdays and Christmas. Let them practice patience. Research shows that delayed gratification is one of the most essential traits of successful people.

– Cultivate gratitude: One of the best tips I’ve ever heard to teach gratitude to children is to ask them to do certain chores once a month for which they get paid. The trick is that they have to spend the money they earned on helping someone else. This makes them appreciate more what they have and also helps them understand the value of hard-earned money.’

The unrelenting expectation to be cheerful and jolly at all times when really you feel depressed or angry

Let’s face it, by 1st December we are all pretty much just dragging ourselves to the finish line. We’ve had enough of what this year has dealt us, and just want to switch off from the daily grind. The downside to this is it basically makes you feel like you’re wading through glue for about three weeks. This I completely hate about Christmas! So how else can we approach this period when we’re running of empty and feeling pretty miffed with the world?

Bev Cripps, Life Coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist says it’s completely normal to feel that way ‘When hibernation until March seems the only sensible idea, however exhausted and overwhelmed you are, it is possible to see this time in a different way’, says . ‘Many cultures call these months the time of renewal, by making small almost effortless changes, it can be a time for you to hunker down and build the foundation for a good year. Small changes implemented daily, have exponential gains as a basis for growth.

Recording what you have done in a table, or a journal, reinforces them. This is a lovely one to try at the end of the day. Think about three good things that have happened during the day. However tough the day has been, they will be there, even if it’s the fact that it simply didn’t rain! Noticing the positive in a sea of grey helps rewire our experiences of the world. Think of things you can also commit to doing every day that you do just for you. These green shoots grow as we feel more confident in our commitment to ourselves as the years progresses. We can do small things and together these can have a huge impact.’

Overindulgence and the knowledge that you are going to feel sick from all the Xmas eating

Who ate all the pies? We did! But seriously, Christmas is synonymous with excess, and after all you have been so good all year, so you deserve a treat or twenty don’t you my precious? But we all know how that one ends up. Usually with an intense sense of self loathing come January. So how we step away from the relentless conveyor belt of temptation?

Penny Weston, fitness, wellness guru and nutrition expert says, ‘As the festive period approaches many people see their social diary getting busier and as a result of this increase in social events, late nights, reduced sleep and change in diet and alcohol intake, many people begin to feel sluggish, bloated, tired and sick from all the Christmas eating.

In order to stop yourself feeling sluggish too early into the festive season and too stuffed from all the extra eating, I think that it’s crucial to try and maintain as much of your normal health and fitness routine as possible. For example, if you’re used to exercising three times a week, try not to suddenly stop doing this as the festive season approaches because by completely stopping the exercise that your body, and mind, are used to will cause you to feel tired and see your energy levels dip. Exercise leads to the release of endorphins that help to reduce anxiety, depression and low moods as well as boosting self-esteem. Even slow walking still has some effect at releasing these hormones and boosting mood.’

Also nutrition is an important factor in preventing feelings of sluggishness, bloating and feeling sick from too much festive food. It’s inevitable that when you’re going out over the festive period your diet won’t be as healthy as it usually is, however try to ensure that you’re putting as many nutrients into your body as possible at breakfast. An ideal way to do this is with a smoothie. Particular favourites of mine include my Vitamin Rich Super Smoothie which contains nearly every vitamin and mineral your body needs and gives you a natural boost of energy. It contains blueberries, banana, spinach, kale, chia seeds, spirulina, vanilla protein, and almond milk. Having a glass of this in the morning will provide an energy boost and help to prevent bloating

It’s also a good idea to pre-make some healthy meals or snacks to take out with you or leave in the fridge at home so that you’re not tempted to grab fast food on the go, as this is often high in sugars and salts. Allowing ourselves a treat over the festive period is important, and indulging in alcohol or food treats won’t be detrimental to your overall health, diet or size if in moderation, and it’s important that we don’t beat ourselves up about it if we do.’

The massive Christmas come down in January when you are staring into an abyss of nothing to look forward to

Oh god, I already feel depressed at the thought of January just writing the word! If there’s one things that trumps the things we hate about Christmas it’s dealing with the massive January come down. But there must be another way instead of spending a month feeling sorry for ourselves and licking our Christmas wounds?

Intuitive Life Coach Ali Ford says yes there is – hurrah!

‘It’s common to feel tired, deflated, and even a bit blue after the furore around Christmas and New Year celebrations’, highlights ‘Added to that is the burden and pressure to set resolutions, reinvent yourself and somehow find the energy to be a ‘new you’. All at the back-end of an undoubtedly crazy-busy time.

‘I don’t believe in forcing and striving the minute January hits! Instead, if you feel a bit of a lull after the festivities, turn to celebrating yourself instead. Reflect back and explore your achievements, successes and the hurdles you have crossed off in the last 12 months. Journal your gratitudes for all that you are, all that you have, and the many experiences you have enjoyed and still have to come.

Next, use your intuition to explore what you need most right now. Perhaps you need to plan something to look forward to, maybe you need some time and space for yourself? Take a few days off and spend them solely focussed on self-nurture and soul restoration. This will look different for everyone, but if you move your focus away from thinking and anchor into feeling, your intuition will tell you everything you need to know about raising your vibration and moving back into flow.’

Which of the above do you also hate about Christmas? Let us know in a comment below and follow us on Instagram where we’ll be keeping the conversation going.

Christmas photo created by gpointstudio, Food photo created by wayhomestudio, Woman photo created by freepik, Woman photo created by drobotdean